7 Things To Consider Before Dating a Single Mom
Know the things that you should keep in mind before deciding to date a single mom. Read this article to find out the things that you should be aware of if you want to be a good partner to a solo parent.
Dating a single mom with a young child is different from dating a woman without children. More often than not, it will require you to be more flexible, to be more persevering in earning her trust, and to work hard to also bond with her child. However, if you are ready for the commitment and are aware of what you should expect when dating a single mom, it can be very rewarding. In this article, we will look into some of the things you should consider before you decide to date a single mom.
You have to understand her priorities
Her child comes first, no exceptions.
When you’re dating a single mom, her number one priority will be her kid. You have to be prepared to play second fiddle or learn to accept this reality if you want to continue the relationship. This also means learning how to be flexible with your schedule because most of the time, a mother’s schedule revolves around her kid’s schedule. You should also be ready for any changes in your plans and dates being canceled at the last minute because of something that happened at home.
When dating a single mom, you will have to work harder to earn their trust. This is because in most cases, single moms come from broken relationships and they might find it hard to trust again because of their unpleasant experiences with their ex. You have to prove that you are different and that you will treat her differently. They are also looking for someone they can trust with their child so you will have to show that they can depend on you and that you are a responsible person.
Unless asked, don’t interfere in parenting
Another important thing you should consider is that unless she asks you for parenting advice, or to take an active role in parenting her child, you should leave the parenting to her. This means respecting the boundaries she has with her child and respecting her way of parenting. Also, keep in mind that if you have any concerns with her parenting style, you should make it a point to show her that you trust her judgment and authority when you discuss them with her.
Be ready for commitment
When a single mom decides to date, she is not looking to play games. She is looking for a potential life partner and a person responsible enough to be a parent to her child. This will require a level of commitment from you to show that you are there for the long haul. You have to be ready to be in a committed relationship and that you are ready to take on parenting responsibilities as well.
If your reason for dating is just for fun and games, then you better turn the other way.
Don’t Rush It
Thinking that you are ready to get into a committed relationship and take on a parenting role does not mean that you should propose marriage or ask to meet her child after the first few dates. You wouldn’t want to rush into something that you cannot sustain and it would be best to take things slow. And when it comes to being involved in her child’s life, trust her judgment and her timing, and follow her lead because she knows her child best.
Her ex will be a presence
One of the things you will deal with when dating a single mom is that her child’s father will be in the picture especially if they are co-parenting. This might be a challenge since we are all not used to having someone’s ex around when we are dating them. However, this is a fact you should consider and accept because in most cases, having the father around as a co-parent is actually good for the child.
Treat her as a strong individual
Lastly, dating a single mom does not mean that you are there to rescue or save her.
She has been able to thrive as a single parent and she will continue to do so without you. They also do not need your sympathy nor do they need you to be their knight in shining armor. Single moms are made of tough stuff and they do not need to be rescued. What they will need from you is to listen to her, support her, be loyal to her, understand her, and love her.
There are a number of things you need to consider before you date a single mom. These include understanding her priorities, respecting boundaries, and not rushing the process, among others. But if you are ready to put in the work, you may be able to show that you can be a great partner and build a lasting and loving relationship with her.
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